She said love? Lord above!

I apologize for not writing in a while. Internet has been down off-and-on both at home and at work. Of course, I could have taken my laptop to Java and accomplished something there but, to be perfectly honest, I have been spending time with someone lately. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, seeing as I am not prone to fits of spontaneous dating, but I really like this guy. And I wouldn’t call the time I spend with him dating, especially since a date generally entails involvement of both parties. But I have been spending significant time with him and I feel I am a better person because of it. He and I are on the same page.

More precisely, I am on page 75 of Searching for God Knows What. I finally read Blue Like Jazz a few months ago and, after reading a couple of other books, I was drawn back to Donald Miller again to read Searching for God. I was only a few chapters into it when I took a brief interlude to read Through the Painted Desert. Hurricane Katrina has had me glued to my television all week and significant energies have been devoted to the celebration of Yetty and Mac’s marital ceremonies, but I am spending the rest of my Labor Day weekend unwinding with Donald.

I have fallen in love with musicians before (Townes Van Zandt, Gram Parsons, Chris Taylor, Rhett Miller, each and every guy in Old Crow Medicine Show), but rarely with an author that I recall. Most of my favorite authors are women, and since I could never be a lesbian because girls are so catty (aside from the whole morality issue), I have not fallen for any of them. I had an infatuation with Fitzgerald in high school, but our values were too opposed for me to fall in love with him. Donald and I, on the other hand, understand each other. Or rather, I feel like I get him, seeing as he has no idea who I am. Realistically, I am sure he sounds much better on paper. I know that I can present pieces of myself on paper that display my wit, my charm and my eccentricities. However, I can refrain from discussing how I clear my sinuses in the shower, or clip my toenails while watching Best Week Ever, or pull into Shakey’s twice in one day. Or I can tell you all of those things and spin them into quirky anecdotes. My point being, my life isn’t nearly as interesting as my writing and everybody poops. I poop. Jesus pooped. Donald Miller poops. But he is also an excellent writer, and I am drawn to people’s words.

In books, in songs, in conversation – I love the way human use language to interact with one another, and I love people who do it well. That’s why I love Gilmore Girls. Amy Sherman-Palladino focuses so much on what is being said and how it is being said that language and its delivery should win an Emmy for best supporting actor. As much as I adore Sookie and Lorelai, their lives would appear extremely mundane without their witty banter.

So for me, I guess communication and self-presentation skills are what make a person sexy. All of us lead mundane lives, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them sound more intriguing. Some people have beautiful bodies and some people have beautiful brains, and I know many people who are blessed with both. Some people use their bodies to attract people, and some bodies attract others without trying. Some people use their brains to attract people, and some brains attract others without trying. I don’t know if Donald Miller intended to attract people through his writing, but I for one am definitely smitten.

Sidenote:

...so I was in B&N last night, and I looked up and saw a book with Donald Miller's name on it. Thinking I was out of the loop (again), I picked it up and read the summary. I realized it was Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance repackaged as Through the Painted Desert. Perhaps I was not alone in my assessment of the title? I feel sooo much better!

~ good for the soul ~

I have just begun to read Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What, and I have a confession to make. On the first page of the first chapter, Miller makes reference to his first book which apparently flopped. Having devoured Blue Like Jazz, and already being keen on God Knows What, one would think that I might be surprised to read that the author was offered to buy back his first published work at 12 cents a pop - especially given his description of the story line. However, I am far from surprised... I am ashamed.

I remember the book well, and I must confess that I turned my nose up at it the moment it hit shelves. "Beautiful, Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance. Yet another attempt by the christian community to knock off a heathen success and repackage it for the glory of God." A few years later, I remember my friend Aubrey (whose opinion I highly value, particularly in the literary realm) discussing how much she enjoyed the book. Yet I still could not overcome my own prejudices. I wrote it off as temporary insanity on her part, simply thankful that she hadn't succumbed to the power of Bible Bars (nutrition God's way!) or the Bear of Jabez.

Rumor has it that the currently out-of-print book will be republished following the success of Miller's more recent works (and, dare I say, cult-like following?). I will purchase said book, and I will accept my rightful label of "poser" who only gave the book a chance once it was "cool".

~ risky journey ~

how does it feel
to be on your own
with no direction home
like a complete unknown
just like a rolling stone

This morning I finished reading Under the Overpass (I started reading the book Thursday evening, and was interrupted in between with work and dinner with friends... in other words, I couldn't put it down). Wow. I have done social outreach for over ten years now - I was not particulary amazed by the fact that these guys were willing to hang out with "the least of these". What grabbed me - what has been grabbing me a lot lately - is the embodiment of Christ these guys displayed: their willingness to truly die to self, and to allow Christ to shine through them into other lives; the ways that people's hearts were touched just by someone willing to spend time with them and treat them as the creation of God that they are; and the work of the Holy Spirit in spite of our best human efforts.

I think about friends of mine who are willing to embark on risky journies in their own lives: moving across country with no plan other than to build relationships and invest in the lives of others, spend time in a culture they are unfamiliar with in hopes of allowing the Spirit to work through their life, joining together in marriage and work to allow two independent lives to become one, staying put until God calls them elsewhere even if they truly want to run, stepping out in faith into a new career when there is comfort in the one they already have. I also think about my own career, and the fact that someone I don't even know commented on how much of a ministry I have where I am out. God swings doors wide open, and invites us to walk through and share our lives with those on the other side. I pray more and more that my desire in life would be less for personal comfort and more for investing in relationships... especially those that are akward and messy and take work (and those in which I am reminded of the beauty of ESL). The summary of the book presents the following questions:

What would I do during my day or in my life for God if I wasn't concerned with what I wear, what I eat, where I sleep, what I own, what people think of me, or what discomforts I face?

Those women who are in Bible Study with me (Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free) will appreciate the weight of this question for me. There are many lies I have believed about what I deserve and what will make me happy. This question challenges them all. I promised Angelika and Meredith at dinner that I would let them borrow this book when I'm done, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to give it a second read-through. There's some stuff I need to hear again... there's lots of stuff I need to process. But I do promise to pass it on soon - to as many people as will read it.

Oh, and Ramon... both guys are living in Portland now and at least one is at Imago Dei (figures!).