Wednesday, July 16, 2008

~ refueling ~

Take care of that machine.
You got such a great model there, honey!
Give it the right fuel
High protein, low calorie
Take it out for a spin every day!

~ School House Rock

I realize nutrition should be commonsense.

We all learned about the food pyramid in elementary school… and “health” class (aka – lets scare the hell out of you so you won’t drink-and-drive or become a teenage mother) in high school… and that obligatory fitness class freshman year of college that was supposed to keep you from gaining the “freshman 15” through humiliation as you measured each other’s girth.

I know that a carrot is a better choice than a brownie (though, really, is that any kind of rational substitution?!).

I know what healthy food looks like – that’s not the problem.

The problem is, what I crave and what is good for me are not the same things. And when I am in an unhealthy emotional state, my ability to discern healthy from “comforting” gets overshadowed.

This is called lack of discipline.

It’s also called GLUTTONY mixed with SLOTH – a deadly combination of sins.

I can write a cute story about drowning my hurt and anxieties in chocolate sauce, but in the end I have to face the reality of the situation. When I can no longer button my Lane Bryant jeans without causing myself physical pain, it’s not a cute story… it’s a depressing one.

I could sit back and complain about how “other” people get to eat what they want and they don’t gain weight. But wouldn’t that be like the vineyard workers who complained about their wages after they felt they had worked so much harder than the other guys?

I could point out that maybe my body is just designed to be this way. But I’m pretty sure my Creator didn’t design my body to run on excessive amounts of sugar, caffeine and processed foods.

So I rejoined Weight Watchers this weekend.

I hesitated to sign up again. After all, this will be my fourth time to participate. It costs money – money that I could apply to buying more nutritious food (or paying down my debt load). It also hasn’t worked since the first time.

Several years ago, I got motivated, signed up for Weight Watchers Online, stayed disciplined and eventually dropped from a starting weight of 198lbs to an energetic 152lbs. I hadn’t been that size since my first year in high school. I was almost in a size 10 jean size! I felt great.

And then one of those life events happened, and I lost my motivation, and I gave up trying. It had been hard work, and I just didn’t have it in me anymore. I eventually gained it all back – much quicker than I had taken it off. Over the years I tried twice more to sign up and give it another go, but I gave up quickly each time.

Recently, I recognized that my weight is out-of-control. Its not even as if I am binge eating, but rather subtle and steady poor choices that are piling atop one another. I needed accountability and guidance, and the monthly cost of Weight Watchers Online seemed miniscule in comparison to the cost of new clothes, potential health risks and poor self-esteem.

I stepped on the scale Sunday morning to record my starting “weigh-in”: 208.6lbs.


I’m 5’2”.

That’s a BMI of 38 which puts me in the class 2 obesity category.

Obesity class 1 starts with a BMI of 30.

Morbid/severe obesity starts with a BMI of 40.

Normal weight should fall between a BMI of 19-25.

So I’m back on Weight Watchers and I’m trying to take it very seriously… but not so seriously that I give up. It is supposed to be a lifestyle change, but their “points” system helps you to train your brain to make wise food decisions. You have to meet nutritional standards such as eating lots of fruits and veggies and drinking lots of water, and ideally you should be cutting back on things like sugar and salt and caffeine.

My body is pretty frustrated with the reduction in sugar and caffeine. Its not so sure what to do with itself. I wake up feeling exhausted, but I know this is just a temporary adjustment.

Tomorrow I’ll write about some of the food adjustments I’m learning to make, and the “sticker shock” of realizing just what I was putting into my body. For now, I have to go to the bathroom (*side effect of all that healthy water*)!


Ines said...

i'm so proud of you!! i need to do the same (not necessarily the weight watchers thing)-- my back was hurting today, squeaking and saying, "no more dove chocolate!" it's just been one of those days (months!). ;-) Don't give up!!! one step, then the other.

Amy said...

Wow, I could have written that blog post without changing much at all. I am currently right at the BMI of 25 - grateful that it's not higher, terrified it will be before long! Even though I love healthy food and eat it everyday, I also feel like an addict when it comes to junk food. I literally feel incapable of saying no to the McDonald's drive-thru or the bag of Doritos! And it hurts.

But don't give up, and I won't either! Can I ask why you have gone back to WW if the last couple of times it didn't work?

Anyway, I will pray for God to give you endurance and strength of will. :o)

Kimberly said...

Amy! I think your blog dropped off my reader... I went over to your site and I am waaaaay behind in my reading!

Why I went back to WW? I think the post after this one explains a little more, but basically it is because I know it can work if I do my part. The two times it didn't work, I gave up on discipline very quickly and allowed myself to have whatever I thought I wanted. My motto this time around is that I am taking it seriously... but not too seriously (or not so seriously that I just give up).