REALLY!?!

So, I was standing at the coffee counter at Barnes and Noble, laughing with the barista who had been there since 5a.m. & could not keep my order straight (simple: venti iced almond latte). Another customer, a non-descript, middle-aged gentleman, walked up beside me and warned "You better watch out for this one" (referring to the barista). We both laughed along with him, assuming he was talking about her mental exhaustion. But then he added, "She shorted me a dollar earlier." Poor barista chick's face suddenly turned mortified, "Did I really?!" she questioned, concerned. "Yes, but its ok," offered the strange little man. I was puzzled by his need to wait until this moment to bring up the discrepancy, but was soon distracted by more questioning.

"Have you seen the Russell Crowe movie A Good Year?" asked creepy old guy (as he had now been renamed in my head). "No, but a friend of mine was just talking about it and said it was pretty good." (Actually, Jerusalem had blogged about it, but I have discovered when you throw "a friend of mine just posted about that" into normal conversation, people look at you strange.) He went on to tell me what a good movie it was, and how wonderful it would be to live in an Italian villa, and other things I was too nervous to listen to because he was staring at me.

How's that coffee coming along...?

The clincher, was when he asked me if I'm a teacher. "Excuse me?" I asked incredulously. "You're a teacher, aren't you? You look like the teacher type" (as he threw glances at my thick-framed glasses, green cardigan and funky red sandals). "No, I'm not a teacher." was all I could offer, as I moved slowly and cautiously to the other end of the counter. Not that I have anything against the profession of teaching (I've actually seriously considered pursuing it on several occasions and have held several positions that involved working with kids), but was that seriously his pick-up line?!

Has my spinster status really set in? Is it time to get some cats? New B&N Cafe motto: abandon hope, all ye who enter here...

At times like this, continuing with one's life seems impossible & eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable. I have two choices - give up & accept permanent state of spinsterhood & eventual eating by dogs, or not. And this time, I choose not. I will not be defeated… Instead, I choose vodka & Chaka Khan.

~ Bridget Jones