Thursday, October 13, 2011

On God and Dirty Dancing...

The first time I watched Dirty Dancing, it was 6th grade, I was at a slumber party and the movie had just come out on HBO. It was mesmerizing. It's one of those movies you do not want to watch with me if you are bothered by people quoting every-other line, singing along with the music (albeit, off-key), imitating the awkward motions of characters, or reenacting dance moves.

All that to say, Dirty Dancing, for better or worse, has a deep presence in my psyche. So it should be no surprise that I as I'm reading a frustrating passage of scripture, something that doesn't seem to line up with the way God walked in the flesh among creation as Jesus, that doesn't seem to line up with the way God taught creation to walk among each other, that the following monologue pops into my head:

I told you I was telling the truth. I'm sorry I lied to you, but you lied too. You told me everyone was alike and deserved a fair break, but you meant everyone who is like you. You told me you wanted me to change the world, to make it better, but you meant by becoming a lawyer or an economist and marrying someone from Harvard.

I'm not proud of myself, but I'm in this family too. You can't keep giving me the silent treatment. There are a lot of things about me that aren't what you thought, but if you love me, you have to love all the things about me.

And I love you. I'm sorry I let you down, I'm so sorry, Daddy.

But you let me down too.

Sometimes I don't get God. I think I understand the overarching story, but when I start digging around in the details, and listening to others picking up the particularly frustrating parts and holding them up to the light for us all to focus on, I get a bit pissed.

Somedays I think God hung the moon, and others I think God's nothing but a sham.

Yet my love and my faith remain.

And I know God can handle my questions.

God welcomes my wrestling.

And I'm having the time of my life...


James said...

The title alone made me snort. I like the way you think. . . and write.

Kimberly said...

Thank you very much!